Sweet Peace

So, I haven't taken the time to post anything for some time.  However, I do have some good excuses.  As if 2011 hasn't brought on enough changes and adventures for our family, we decided to add another one.  And, it's not small.  We are officially homeschooling our children!  When I say "we", I mean "me", with the support of my husband.  :)  We have discussed this for years, but I never saw it actually happening.  As our 1st day of school approached, I felt panicked and bounced my doubts off of my husband just about every night in bed.  His responses were always short and simple and sounded something like, "You can do this.  It'll be fine."  He never seemed to have doubts, or if he did, he didn't share them with me.  I believe that God knows our needs and hears our pleads.  I prayed and prayed and prayed.  I prayed for signs, I prayed for wisdom, and I prayed for peace. 

We started our school year on Tuesday, August 16th.... and we haven't looked back.  I know we made the right decision.  I feel it and I see it.  I have struggled in becoming a stay-at-home-mom.  Going from a well-paying career to a no-paying (monetarily speaking) position was shocking to say the least.  Oh, and add in there having a 4th baby.  I felt overwhelmed and confused.  Did I make the right decision?  Are we going to experience financial disaster now?  Would the kids ever get along and respect me?  Or did I wait too long to make the sacrifice?  After only (almost) 3 weeks into our school year, I can see some fruits of our labor.  Thank you, Lord!  I can see my sons bonding like never before.  I can see the look on my children's faces when I talk to them.  It's a look of respect that I had never known.  I can hear their quick responses to my requests when I had gotten used to not getting responses at all.  Is everything perfect?  Heck no!  But it's drastically better.  See, my expectations of my children have elevated and you might think that would cause more tension, but I've seen the opposite affect.  They see that I love them enough to invest my time on them.  I love them enough to sacrifice my selfish desires so that they might be nurtured in an amazing way. 

I am thankful that I am where I am, right now.  I am eternally grateful for some heaven-sent friendships as well, especially Mrs. Brady.  Encouragement from her was what kept me from running back to what seemed to be the easy way out.  That's right... public school would've been easier on my daytime schedule, but it wouldn't have been worth it because it would have costed much more than what it was worth.  Homeschooling may not have worked one year ago or if we had waited one year from now, but it's working today.  I was diligently praying for signs, but I overlooked the gift of peace.  And, I feel peace, sweet peace.